Have you ever witnessed a grown woman throwing a tantrum? I mean like a full blown stomping her feet tantrum? You know the kind where tears come faster than they can be wiped away, and screams are from the very inner of her being.

Well let me tell you, if you had been on Bardstown Road last week you might have seen one. I actually witnessed the whole thing!! It was unbelievable! I know every detail because the woman throwing the tantrum was me.

I had taken my car into our mechanic because my check engine light had come on the night before. Our mechanic and friend reset my light and assured me that everything was fine with my car. I literally was in and out in 10 minutes.

Then it happened as I pulled out of the lot. Tears just began to flow and the tantrum started.

I just screamed at God “ I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK! I AM TIRED OF OTHERS TAKING CARE OF ME.” I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS WITHOUT JEFF! HOW COULD YOU HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN???” and on and on it went. All the way home. I would like to say that was the end but I ranted to God all night long. Grief is hard, and ugly and happens at the weirdest times.

The next morning I opened my eyes and the first thing I did was smile and say to God.. “Ummm, God I am really sorry I yelled at you all day yesterday, and you know that I did not mean all of those things I said.” “However I did mean some of what I said!” I laughed as I said those words to God because I am very aware that HE created me and he knows my every thought before I even think about speaking it.

I miss Jeff terribly and I really did not want to spend the rest of my life without him. Guess, I just need to voice that every once in awhile. Haha

I then began to thank God my Father for all of the people HE put in our life so many years ago that love Jeff and me. The people that help me with whatever I need, whenever I need it. Yes, even car repairs!!

An amazing, caring and loving God to show me so much love through HIS people.

Grief is hard and it makes people uncomfortable. Sometimes people don’t know what to do with people who are grieving. Its messy. You probably only see the Sherry that is out smiling and living life. God does allow me to do that. I am grateful that I am bent towards seeing the beauty in things. I will scratch and claw to choose joy, however you don’t see the 2 hours that morning that I spent with the Bible in my lap begging for relief from the pain.

Jesus is giving me the strength and endurance I need every day. HE goes before me and prepares the way! I am HIS all the days of my life!

I consider that our present sufferings are

Not worth comparing with the glory that will

Be revealed in us.

Romans 8:18

Glory is coming!!

 

My favorite place in our house is the sun room. It is where I meet Jesus every morning and I spend a lot of time pondering HIS ways in this room. This morning as I was sitting in my big fluffy chair something caught my eye out the glass and made me laugh.

If you know me, you know that I will openly say that God has given me many gifts but a green thumb is not one of them.

When we moved into our house that we bought from Jeff”s parents, Jeff’s Mom had beautiful big rose bushes out the back door. It has only taken me 2 years to kill them. I mean literally dead! Now a couple of weeks ago we noticed that one of them sprouted a little and I do mean a little. Haha

This morning as I was looking out the window that little rose bush caught my eye. I couldn’t help but think “Wow! God has brought that thing back to life.” No doing of me at all. I have not even looked at that rose bush, and pretty much neglected it. That rose bush came up through that hard dirt and old mulch and became green again.

Kind of like Jesus does with us. He brings us up out of suffering and despair and yucky circumstances and gives us living water to drink and sunshine to help us grow. We may not look like the other “rose bushes” but we will bring joy and happiness to someone, as we all here on earth have a purpose.

So, most people will walk past that little bush and say “Oh, that thing needs to be pulled up and a new bush planted, but I will look at it and say “ see what God did, bringing that rose bush back to life.” I am pretty sure that the day it blooms a big beautiful rose you will get a picture!! Haha

Today as you poke your heads up through the dirt and old mulch of your life I pray that you would lift your face to the One that created you and thank HIM for the opportunity to bloom in your circumstances. Everyone sees beauty differently but beauty is beauty.

 

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

My favorite place in our house is the sun room. It is where I meet Jesus every morning and I spend a lot of time pondering HIS ways in this room. This morning as I was sitting in my big fluffy chair something caught my eye out the glass and made me laugh.

If you know me, you know that I will openly say that God has given me many gifts but a green thumb is not one of them.

When we moved into our house that we bought from Jeff”s parents, Jeff’s Mom had beautiful big rose bushes out the back door. It has only taken me 2 years to kill them. I mean literally dead! Now a couple of weeks ago we noticed that one of them sprouted a little and I do mean a little. Haha

This morning as I was looking out the window that little rose bush caught my eye. I couldn’t help but think “Wow! God has brought that thing back to life.” No doing of me at all. I have not even looked at that rose bush, and pretty much neglected it. That rose bush came up through that hard dirt and old mulch and became green again.

Kind of like Jesus does with us. He brings us up out of suffering and despair and yucky circumstances and gives us living water to drink and sunshine to help us grow. We may not look like the other “rose bushes” but we will bring joy and happiness to someone, as we all here on earth have a purpose.

So, most people will walk past that little bush and say “Oh, that thing needs to be pulled up and a new bush planted, but I will look at it and say “ see what God did, bringing that rose bush back to life.” I am pretty sure that the day it blooms a big beautiful rose you will get a picture!! Haha

Today as you poke your heads up through the dirt and old mulch of your life I pray that you would lift your face to the One that created you and thank HIM for the opportunity to bloom in your circumstances. Everyone sees beauty differently but beauty is beauty.

 

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

For most widows I have been told that the Holidays, Anniversaries, and other special days are the hardest for them. Jeff and I really never thought much about those things and really they have not been that hard for me. I miss him more in the every day. So it might seem really strange that this week of March Madness has been tough on me emotionally.

You see, Jeff and I love sports and the week that March Madness started was our favorite. We were also very competitive. I can still see him sitting on the couch with his bracket and his two highlighters, one for the winning color and one for the losing color. Cheering for our CARDS being our number one priority of course!

Its always been so fun to watch teams fight for their lives in the tournament and we loved to root for the under dog. Love to see the team that no one thinks can win snatch that win!! Especially those last minute wins.

How many people are around us every day that think they are on a losing team? Nothing is going right for them and they think that no one believes in them.

Jeff and I had the honor of coming along side a kid who has been in and out of prison. We lost touch with him right as Jeff was battling cancer and when we tried to find him so he could come see Jeff for the last time we couldn’t find him. This week I got a letter from him and he was in jail again. He didn’t know that Jeff had died so I had to write him and tell him. He adored Jeff and Jeff adored him. Yesterday I got another letter from him and he said that he has not forgotten all the things we taught him about Jesus and that he wants to prove to me when he gets out that our time with him was not a waste.

The words on that page just made me weep. You see, I would never look at our years with him as a waste. He grew to know Jesus and he got to see what a real family looks like. We love him. We are on his team forever, winning or losing!  A lot of people think he can never win because he is the under dog, but God reminds me that so am I, and look what HE has done with my life. We are in this game with him to the bitter end. He will not get out of jail for another year but I am praying that when he does get out that he makes a winning shot at life again.

Wont you pray with me for the under dog? Not the basketball teams but all the people who need to know of a Jesus that has enough Grace for all of us!! You see in basketball’s March Madness the guys don’t get a second chance.

I love this verse in Jonah 3:1 it says “Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time.” You see we serve a God of second chances! So get your highlighter out for that one!! I sure did!

For most widows I have been told that the Holidays, Anniversaries, and other special days are the hardest for them. Jeff and I really never thought much about those things and really they have not been that hard for me. I miss him more in the every day. So it might seem really strange that this week of March Madness has been tough on me emotionally.

You see, Jeff and I love sports and the week that March Madness started was our favorite. We were also very competitive. I can still see him sitting on the couch with his bracket and his two highlighters, one for the winning color and one for the losing color. Cheering for our CARDS being our number one priority of course!

Its always been so fun to watch teams fight for their lives in the tournament and we loved to root for the under dog. Love to see the team that no one thinks can win snatch that win!! Especially those last minute wins.

How many people are around us every day that think they are on a losing team? Nothing is going right for them and they think that no one believes in them.

Jeff and I had the honor of coming along side a kid who has been in and out of prison. We lost touch with him right as Jeff was battling cancer and when we tried to find him so he could come see Jeff for the last time we couldn’t find him. This week I got a letter from him and he was in jail again. He didn’t know that Jeff had died so I had to write him and tell him. He adored Jeff and Jeff adored him. Yesterday I got another letter from him and he said that he has not forgotten all the things we taught him about Jesus and that he wants to prove to me when he gets out that our time with him was not a waste.

The words on that page just made me weep. You see, I would never look at our years with him as a waste. He grew to know Jesus and he got to see what a real family looks like. We love him. We are on his team forever, winning or losing!  A lot of people think he can never win because he is the under dog, but God reminds me that so am I, and look what HE has done with my life. We are in this game with him to the bitter end. He will not get out of jail for another year but I am praying that when he does get out that he makes a winning shot at life again.

Wont you pray with me for the under dog? Not the basketball teams but all the people who need to know of a Jesus that has enough Grace for all of us!! You see in basketball’s March Madness the guys don’t get a second chance.

I love this verse in Jonah 3:1 it says “Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time.” You see we serve a God of second chances! So get your highlighter out for that one!! I sure did!